Sunny mid September afternoon, looking towards the future. Painting and dreaming. Thinking about nothing but color on paper . How it begins and where will it end. Kind of like life i guess, every step you take brings you that must closer . To what? i have no idea. But i do enjoy the journey.
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Look how many months have slipped by without so much as a word. This is what happens when you don't have a computer. Mine blew up back in May I think. It has been a long haul. I still don't have a replacement. My mind is still not sure what it is doing and some days i walk around in a functioning fog. It's pure hell. My painting days have been far and few between, but i have created some new work. I find i paint better if i just block out all the noise inside my head. Just focus on the paint. Focus on the brush in hand. See what happens. Try to be in the moment with my art process. I find that when I step back and really look at what i have done I loose momentum. Stop analyzing, just work through it. There is that point when you know the last stroke for today has been made and you can go no farther. I am learning that you can go too far. This is a hard lesson, but sometimes you have to go there to realize that there is a point of no return. The impression, or instinct of brush and color becomes routine, the magic is lost. Everyday I think about painting and how i wish i could devote more time to it. But working 5 days a week takes a toll on any ambition. I am usually too exhausted. There are moments though that i steal away to the studio and force myself to be creative. This always makes me feel good, happy to accomplish the littlest thing. I am the struggling artist. Struggling to be better. Struggling to find recognition in a world over saturated by visual stimulus. How does one become a great artist in the modern age?
I was painting and the light changed. I went outside and observed. What wonderful shadows! I don't know how it happened, but April has arrived and somehow i missed March. My brain isn't working right latley. Fuzzy thinking. I learned that I am going thru the woman change. It has been a very difficult last month for me. Emotions are running rampant. I feel out of control and spacy all at the same time. This has to be why my art is so hectic. My knot paintings i call them. They are as bunged up as i am inside. I feel like i have to hurry thru to get things out. painting is a stress reliever for me. Brooks is showing me how to create calm space. It is hard to do. Maybe my upcoming road trip to Colorado will slow me down and allow me to breath slower.
I have new pieces to share. I will post those later. I continue to paint not knowing exactly what or why. Just painting. seeing what happens. these are pics of my studio. chaos like my art. also two pics of works in progress.
I tried something new last night. These are a series of pencil watercolors i did last night and this morning. They are all on artist trading cards only 3.5x2.5 inches. i wish i could get lines like these in my paintings. Something to think about. there are 11 pieces in this set of drawings.
I have been horribly sick all week. I haven't even been able to paint. Well, Just a little, when i feel i have the strength. I don't wish this flu on anybody. Its a zapper. Anyways, while i am here a little slide show of works in process. I think I started these last saturday night. Seems like forever ago. remember these are works in progress. The one on the panel is a series of small works on paper. The 3 piece are 12x12. I started these yesterday. There are a few more that remain to be finished. I think i really enjoy working on paper. Small scale. I feel like I'm beginning to understand the theory behind layers of paint. Already the 4th of January. Too much going on and not nearly enough time. I have managed to paint. And this is good. If you are struggling and don't know where to start, just do. In fact I was watching Jonas Gerard painting on you tube and he said "My goal is to delve deeper into this mystery of "not Knowing" so as to open all possibilities." Letting go. open to the possibilities of improvisation and spontaneity. So without further adue, here are the first paintings of the new year. keep scrolling down there are a few slide shows. enjoy the process of getting lost in non thought. I'm always amazed at what comes out in the end. Unexpected and strange. Happy New year! |
AuthorJennifer Ellis Archives
April 2015
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