Look how many months have slipped by without so much as a word. This is what happens when you don't have a computer. Mine blew up back in May I think. It has been a long haul. I still don't have a replacement. My mind is still not sure what it is doing and some days i walk around in a functioning fog. It's pure hell. My painting days have been far and few between, but i have created some new work. I find i paint better if i just block out all the noise inside my head. Just focus on the paint. Focus on the brush in hand. See what happens. Try to be in the moment with my art process. I find that when I step back and really look at what i have done I loose momentum. Stop analyzing, just work through it. There is that point when you know the last stroke for today has been made and you can go no farther. I am learning that you can go too far. This is a hard lesson, but sometimes you have to go there to realize that there is a point of no return. The impression, or instinct of brush and color becomes routine, the magic is lost. Everyday I think about painting and how i wish i could devote more time to it. But working 5 days a week takes a toll on any ambition. I am usually too exhausted. There are moments though that i steal away to the studio and force myself to be creative. This always makes me feel good, happy to accomplish the littlest thing. I am the struggling artist. Struggling to be better. Struggling to find recognition in a world over saturated by visual stimulus. How does one become a great artist in the modern age?
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AuthorJennifer Ellis Archives
April 2015
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